Ben Hedberg, MC, LPC, BCC
THE STRUGGLE WITH BEING THE "PERFECT MAN."
Updated: Apr 22, 2018
There are positive and negative forms of perfectionism. Most men would consider having high standards a good thing. Striving for excellence can show that you have a good work ethic and strength of character. High standards can also push you to reach your peak level of performance. Negative Perfectionism, on the other hand, involves a tendency to set standards that are so high that they either cannot be met, or are only met with great difficulty. Perfectionists tend to believe that anything short of perfection is failure, and that even minor imperfections can lead extreme stress and anxiety. Trying to be perfect is also likely to make you feel stressed and maybe even disappointed with yourself most of time because you are not able to meet your standards, easily or at all. Over time, you may even start to believe that you are not as capable as others or even start excessively judging others hoping to find their imperfections.
I work with a lot of high achieving and successful men that struggle with trying to be the "perfect man" at home and work. a Certified Cognitive Behavioral Men's Coach: My client's, 1) Clients learn to recognize their negative perfectionism, 2) Learn tools to overcome irrational beliefs/unhealthy habits/behaviors (i.e. procrastination), 3) Practice new ways of rational thinking, 4) Gradually free themselves of the stress and anxiety fueled by their negative perfectionism, and (5) Learning to live the happy life that they desire!