Ben Hedberg, MC, LPC, BCC
TIPS FOR SURVIVING DIVORCE
Divorce can be the one of the most difficult time in one’s life, but it isalso a time of rebuilding for you and your children. Here are some ideas to help you cope with this challenging time:
LET YOURSELF GRIEVE - Expect to experience a period of mourning during a divorce. Regardless of your feelings of anger toward your former spouse, you must take time to grieve the loss of a mate and the parent of your children. It may seem impossible at first, but you’ll emerge from a period of healthy mourning with a new center of emotional balance as a single person.
COOPERATE ON PARENTING – As painful as it may be to maintain contact with your former spouse, it’s essential to create mutually acceptable co-parenting agreements. It is definitely in the best interest to have a working relationship with your former spouse.
COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR CHILDREN – Children often believe that they’re to blame for the divorce. Whether they express this worry, tell them they are not responsible for the divorce. Extra attention is recommended; Listen to your child’s thoughts and feelings. Consider counseling or coaching services for you and/or your children for support through the transition.
TAKE TIME TO ADJUST – You may be facing some very practical changes in your life, such as moving , finding a new job, and making new child care arrangement s. Go easy on yourself and your kids while you make these transitions. Most importantly, don’t try to solve your practical or emotional problems by jumping into a new marriage.
BUILD SUPPORT NETWORKS – It is common after a divorce for mutual friends to take sides with one partner. This is a perfect time to make new friends and go to “Meet-up” groups for fun and activities.
NURTURE YOURSELF – When you’re in the midst of emotional trauma , it’s easy for everything to seem out of balance. Start a regular exercise routine, find a new hobby, and schedule leisure time to just relax. Most of all, try to remember that healing takes time. When you begin to accept the challenge of new beginnings, you’ll come to a deeper understanding of yourself and be able to build a better future for you and your children.